Kenshin, The Tormented Soul
by Liana Ilia
Summary: Kenshin goes through a very painful time, revisiting his past and seeing his wife in dreams. Can he overcome this?
1. Kenshin, The Tormented Soul

Lina: If you don't like angsty stuff, stay away from this one, it's very very angtsy, trust me.

Kenshin: Oro.

Kenshin, The Tormented Soul Part 1

Kenshin starred at the floor, he was thinking about his past, how he killed Tomoe. He clenched a fist. Kaoru knocked on the door.

"Kenshin, are you okay? You haven't come out since last night. Would you like something to eat?" Kaoru asked, sort of knowing what was going on.

"No," Kenshin said, plainly. Kaoru turned around, but then she heard Kenshin crying. Tears fell down his face. Kaoru went in his room and up to him. She put a hand on his left cheek, the one with the scar. He winced, feeling pain even though it had been over 15 years since Tomoe's death.

"You can tell me if something's wrong. Is it... you're wife?" She asked. Kenshin nodded, tears still falling. He remembered Tomoe washing his cheek after it had started to bleed. He fell on his knees, and Kaoru also knelt down. Kenshin leaned forward until his head touched Kaoru's shoulder. Blood started to pour out of the scar. Kaoru gasped. "We have to get Megumi!" She cried. Kenshin grabbed her arm as she started to get up.

"No, just use a towel," he said, eyes red, the tears were mixing with the blood. Kaoru started to cry as she ran out to get a towel and water. She came back within seconds and squeezed water out of the towel. She rubbed it gently against his cheek. Kenshin winced. "This is just what... Tomoe did," he said, smiling slightly. He wiped away the tears as Kaoru washed the blood out of the towel. Tears fell into the water as she did this. Kenshin was still bleeding, but not as much as before.

"Are you going to be... okay?" Kaoru asked. Kenshin hesitated, since he knew he wasn't going to be fine, nothing ever will again.

"Yes," he said, plainly. Although what came after that was going to be even more painful. He didn't eat anything even when Kaoru insisted that he did, this lasted for two days. He finally got some soup down, but didn't eat much after that, or sleep for that matter. Kaoru visited his room frequently, since he did not want to speak with anyone else. She was the only one who knew about Tomoe after all. He didn't say much, just nodded to what she was saying.

One time she visited him, his scar was bright red, almost as if it were bleeding again, but no blood dripped from it. She set down a tray with soup and tea on it, Kenshin took a few sips of both. His eyes were so tired that he decided he would try and get a few hours of sleep.

"Kenshin... Kenshin are you there?" A voice whispered. Kenshin appeared in blackness. He turned around to see Tomoe. She had blood on her kimono where he had slashed her.

"Tomoe, I'm so sorry, I did not mean to kill you," he said, tears falling down his face.

"I know, I forgive you," she said, smiling. She walked up to him, he backed away. "What's the matter?" She asked.

"You're... dead," he replied. Tomoe laughed an almost evil laugh.  
"Don't tell me you're afraid of the dead," she said, putting a hand on his cheek where the scar was. He winced. Her hand was cold, ice cold. She leaned forward and kissed his lips, his eyes widened.

Kenshin sat up quickly and was sweating heavily. He knew it was only a dream, but it meant something horrible.

"Why...?" He asked.

Lina: Yes, this is the end of the first chapter, told u it was angsty! Keep reading and reviewing!

Kenshin: bloood.

Lina: oro? 


	2. Kenshin, The Tormented Soul Part 2

Lina: Yay! New Kenshin chappie! A little more cheerful... but not for long!

Kenshin: Oro? Blooood...

Kenshin, The Tormented Soul Part 2

Kenshin stood up, went over to where his sword was and drew it. He slashed it around for awhile, sweat ran down his cheeks. He then put it back in the sheath, he sat down and held his cheek. The pain grew, like a headache... only it was the scar that was hurting. Kaoru knocked on the door.

"Kenshin? Would you like some tea?" She asked. Kenshin went to the door, zombie-like, and opened it. He nodded and Kaoru came in. She pourred the tea when they sat down.

"Kaoru?" Kenshin asked. Kaoru handed him the cup. He took it.

"What is it?" She asked, smiling.

"Am I too much trouble?" He asked, sadly. Kaoru almost spit out the tea.

"No! I... I don't mind taking care of you," she said, blushing. Kenshin smiled slightly. "Was that a smile?" Kaoru asked. Kenshin nodded. Kaoru laughed a little. She took a sip of tea. Yahiko came barging in.

"What's wrong with Kenshin? Did you make him sick, Kaoru?" He asked.

"No! Why would I do that?" Kaoru yelled.

"I don't know, maybe because you're cooking is so horrible?" Yahiko asked. Kaoru threw the tea pot at him, it hit him in the face. Kenshin laughed a little. Kaoru's eyes grew wide.

"I'm sorry to have worried you, that I am," Kenshin said, smiling full this time. Kaoru jumped up and took the pot from Yahiko's face, it was red and his nose was now flatter.

"We should celebrate! How about a feast?" Kaoru asked, ecstatic. Yahiko rubbed his nose.

"Only if you're not cooking," he mumbled. Kaoru threw the pot at him again, this time he ducked and Sano caught it.

"Did I hear feast?" He asked.

"Of course you are all invited. Yahiko, get the others. We'll have food from the Akebeko," Kaoru said, still a little angry. Yahiko smiled and ran off. Kenshin had left the room from the other doors, he went out into the back of the dojo, which had a garden and a small pond.

"Should we follow him?" Sano asked.

"No, leave him alone for now. He's going through a hard time. He'll get over it tonight though," Kaoru said, happily.  
Kenshin was starring into the pond, his eyes almost blank. He was thinking about Tomoe again. He knew he had to do something in order to get her out of his mind. He kept replaying that scene over and over, the one where he killed her. He went inside as the party started. There was sake and a whole tray of sushi and other kinds of seafood. Even Aoshi was there with Misao. Everyone began eating.

"Let me guess, you want to have a drinking contest," Kaoru said to Sano. Sano laughed.

"Yes. But this time I want to challenge Aoshi!" Sano exclaimed. Aoshi glared at him. Misao laughed.

"You would never be able to beat him, even if Lord Aoshi did drink," Misao said. Aoshi took a bottle of sake.

"It's okay. I'll challenge that," he said. Everyone starred at him, wide-eyed.

"Okay, let's go then," Sano said, starting. Aoshi also started chugging. It was only after five bottles that Sano passed out. Aoshi had drunk about eight. He was only a little red in the face. Kenshin also drank some, since he was trying to rid someone out of his mind. 

Kenshin: Hehe.

Lina: I wasn't sure if I did the drinking game with Aoshi or not, but here it is! Lol 


	3. Kenshin, The Tormented Soul Part 3

Kenshin: This is very angsty Lina.

Lina: I know, that's my plan.

Kenshin: oh, that it is.

Lina: Part 3! Sorry, I've been busy with school and work, so I haven't had much time to update stuff. But here it is!

Kenshin, The Tormented Soul Part 3

Kenshin woke up from a deep sleep. He thought he heard something crash. He got up and walked around the dojo, and went into the training room. He found Aoshi and Misao, on top of eachother, the rack with the wooden swords was knocked over. Misao was underneath Aoshi, she was snoring loudly. Kenshin smiled. (No, this is not what you are thinking... Misao is way too young for Aoshi anyways.)

"Kenshin," someone called out to him. He thought it was Kaoru's voice. He went outside. Tomoe was standing in the middle of the yard, her back turned towards him. Kenshin blinked. "Ken... shin," she said again. She turned around and walked up to him. She put a hand on his cheek, the one with the scar. Kenshin winced. He knew this had to be a dream. She could not be real. She was dead after all, he watched her die. Tears formed in his eyes. Tomoe leaned forward and put her head on his shoulder and stroked his neck. He lifted a shaky hand and put it on her shoulder, eyes widened as he touched her.

"How... how are you..." he started. Tears fell down his cheeks, the cold tears burned his face. It was fall and closing in on winter.

"Here? I am in your heart. I always will be," Tomoe said. Kenshin put his other arm around her waist.

"But I... I killed you. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I wanted to be with you," Kenshin said, holding onto her tighter. She broke into a million pieces. Kenshin stared, wideeyed for a minute and then blinked. He fell on his knees. Kaoru came out from her room and saw him, looking like he was ready to cry.

"Kenshin? Why are you up so late?" She asked, going up to him. He turned to her, not letting tears form. He winced and bent over. "Kenshin!" Kaoru cried. "I'm... fine, that I am," he said, barely able to talk.  
"No, we must get Megumi. Something's wrong," Kaoru said, putting an arm around his shoulders. Kenshin put his hand on her's. He started to cough. They slowly walked into his room and Kaoru helped him lay down. She covered him up with the fouton and ran to get Megumi. Kenshin was breathing hard and sweating.

"Why... Tomoe?" He asked, clutching his chest. The pain was unbearable, almost like a sword wound that had just been made, but through his heart. Kaoru came back with Megumi in a few minutes and Megumi's voice was in the distance in Kenshin's mind. All he heard was Tomoe's, saying goodbye or help me. He knew that she was dead, but somehow he felt her presence.

"What can we do? Why is he like this?" Kaoru asked, frantically.

"Calm down. He'll be fine if he just rests. I think this is something that Kenshin needs to deal with on his own. There is nothing we can do for him, except hope," Megumi replied, tired from staying up the night before. Kaoru sighed. She stayed up through most of the night by Kenshin's side.

Lina: I know it's short, but it's what you get after me working 27 hours this week. Zzzzzz.

Kenshin: Go to sleep. 


	4. Kenshin, The Tormented Soul Part 4

Lina: It's time for another chapter, I've had writer's block on this for the past two weeks, so gomen.

Kenshin: And you've been somewhere else.

Lina: Yes, well, here you go!

Kenshin, The Tormented Soul Part 4

Kenshin woke up the next morning, and Kaoru was leaning against the wall, sleeping. He smiled. The pain was gone for the time being, but he still lay in the fouton, thinking. How did Tomoe speak to him? Was it just his imagination? These questions were running through his mind.

"I must really miss her," he thought. Kaoru opened her eyes quickly and leaned forward.

"Kenshin!" She cried. Kenshin sat up.

"What's the matter?" He asked. Kaoru almost started to cry.

"Thank goodness. I thought you were gone..." she replied. Kenshin smiled.

"I'm right here, and I'm feeling better, that I am," he said. Kaoru crawled up to him and put her hand on his forhead and her other one on her's.

"You don't seem to have a fever," she said. Kenshin blushed.

"Oro?" He asked. Kaoru jumped back and turned bright red. Kenshin laughed. Sano knocked on the door.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked. Kaoru got up, still red, and opened it.

"He's... better," she said quickly and turned around.

"Well that's good. I was worried for awhile there. So was everyone else," Sano explained.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I caused so much trouble, I just haven't been myself lately," Kenshin said, sadly. Kaoru looked at him worridly. Suddenly images flashed in Kenshin's mind, images of all of the men that he had killed. They were standing, blood streaming down their faces, staring at him. Kenshin's eyes grew wide and he started shaking.  
"Kenshin! What's wrong?" Kaoru asked. Kenshin could barely hear her, since the voices of the men were so loud in his mind. He was breathing heavily and sweat ran down his face. He put his shaking hand on the handle of his sword. In his mind he ran up to the men and slashed at them, he almost slashed Kaoru. She started to cry as she backed up against the wall.

"What's going on?" Yahiko asked, walking in, tiredly. He saw the crazed Kenshin and gasped. "I'm going to go check on the others," Yahiko said and ran off. Sano stood in front of Kenshin, he almost got hit with Kenshin's sword, but ducked underneath it and punched him in the stomach. Kaoru gasped and fell on her knees.

"Ken... shin," she said. Sano layed Kenshin back down.

"I think he needs more rest," he said.

"What happened? Why did Kenshin... attack me?" She asked.

"I don't know. Maybe it had to do something with the other day. I hope this doesn't last too long," Sano replied.

Lina: I know, it's short. But like I said, I'm having a hard time coming up with ideas. So if u have any suggestions, please tell me.

Kenshin: Don't kill me!

Lina: They won't, don't worry. They love u! 


	5. Kenshin, The Tormented Soul Part 5

Lina: Sorry to keep you waiting! Here is the last chapter of Kenshin!

Kenshin: It's very good, sad, but good.

Kenshin, The Tormented Soul Part 5

Kenshin woke with sweat cold on his face. The sun came through the doors. It was fall and the leaves were covering the ground. Kenshin smiled slightly. He still did not know what happened and held his head as he stood up. Kaoru came in.

"Kenshin? Are you all right now?" She asked.

"Yes, thank you for the concern. Did I hurt you?" He asked. Kaoru shook her head. He sighed.

"I still don't understand why this is happening. I mean, it's been fifteen years hasn't it?" Kaoru asked, still a little shaken by what happened. Kenshin nodded.

"That it has. I don't know either. I think it's just because I've been thinking of Tomoe often, that I have," Kenshin replied, smiling sadly. Kaoru went over to him and bent down on her knees. She leaned forward so that her head touched his shoulder. His eyes widened.

"If you ever need to talk, I am here for you. We all are. Don't forget," Kaoru said, almost crying. Kenshin smiled and put a hand on her back.

"I won't. Thank you," he said. Kaoru stood up and went back to what she was doing, which was trying to cook lunch. Kenshin stood up, almost fell over but planted his feet harder into the floor. He drew his sword and swung it to the side quicker than lightning. His eyes were cold again, but not evil. He was just angry for what happened, for everything that had happened in his life. He could not stay this way forever, since everyone would continue to worry about him. Kenshin smiled. "I should be greatful," he muttered. Kenshin decided to go outside. The cool air hit him and he again saw Tomoe in the middle of the yard. She was crying.

"Ken... shin, since you don't love me anymore, I will leave," she said.

"Tomoe! Of course I still..." he stopped. Tomoe floated over to him and smiled.

"It's okay, I know you need your rest from all that has happened. You deserve to be at peace. I will always love you," Tomoe said, leaning against his shoulder. He could actually feel her warmth; although, she was dead, right? He knew that, yet, he still tried to wrap his arms around her, but she disappeared. Kenshin bent down and slammed a fist into the wood.

"Dammit!" He cried. Tears fell from his tired eyes. Kaoru opened a door slightly and watched him. She knew he wanted to be left alone for now, but it hurt her to just watch. Kenshin stood up and felt the scar burn again, but dried his tears. The blood dripped onto his sword handle. "Maybe I'm never meant to be happy for too long," he quietly said. Kaoru heard him and ran out to embrace him.

"Don't ever say that! I'm happy that you're here with me, so you should be happy also!" Kaoru cried, tears stinging her cheek. Kenshin's eyes were wide for a minute, but then he put an arm around him.

"I am... I am happy that you are here," he whispered. They held eachother for a long time.

The End

Lina: Yes, it's the end. Sorry, you will have to wait until the next one for Esano to be in it! Hehe

Esano: Yep! I make a comeback! 


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